having diabetes and making changes with no support system?
this really isnt a question. but its a way for me to vent and see if others out there are dealing with the same thing. im 24 and i found out im type 2 diabetic last feb. i was really sick when i found out and since have had many problems dealing with it. the doctors put me on meds and pretty much gave me the diet and exercise lecture. i didnt take them too seriously then. no one in my family is diabetic and none of my friends. i kept it to myself pretty much. but within the past several months many other health concerns came up. occasional high blood pressure and high cholesterol. i started to lose a little weight. but eventually put it back on plus a couple. within the past couple months i finally put my foot down and said i need to change my health or im going to kill myself at this rate. im not a kid anymore and i cant continue to gain weight and eat the way i do..
i am trying to hard to change my ways. but its hurting my relationship with my boyfriend. i dont have prescription coverage. so my meds and test strips are out of pocket. in order to eat better i have to spend a little more for lean meats and more veggies. even when we eat out it can be a little more expensive cause i have to make a lot of changes to the meals. places charge you extra to sub the fries or add a salad sorta thing. but my boyfriend doesnt see the entire picture. i have to do these things. he will go grocery shopping and buy hot dogs and chicken tenders and mac and cheese and wonder why i get so upset. he gets mad when im not making cookies and brownies. i cant have the junk food around me cause then i want to eat it. cant lose weight and manage blood sugar with all the wrong foods around me. he will still bring home pizzas and want to eat out all the time. it gets so frustrating. we have been dating 9 years. i love him alot. but i cant get him to understand how serious my health problems are. im not going to die if i eat an occasional slice of pizza or share a dessert. but i cant do it all the time. we have been trying to get pregnant for a year now as well. i keep having to tell him that i need to get my problems under control if we plan to have a healthy child.
i have to always educate people on the disease as well. i dont like to talk about it and make it center of attention. but its hard when im eating out and they switch my diet soda for a regular. or when i want to grab something quick and all these places seem to have is fried this and plain nothing exciting salads. i will go to friends houses and they will make excellent meals. but its hard to explain that sometimes i cant eat alot of what they make and it seems like they get offended. the other day a friend made the most excellent mexican food. tortillas, rice, beans, the works. i didnt turn the meal down. but ate very little of it. when she asked me why i wasnt eating, i had to explain the carbs and diabetes and there it was again. the long explanation of the do and donts of diabetes. many people just don’t understand that it isnt all about sugar. its the carbs as well.
ugh.. it can get frustrating. can anyone relate to me here without being mean and putting me down?
i couldnt agree more with what you both said and thank you.
No use whining about a "support system". YOU are your Support System. You and only you can control this disease — everybody else be damned.
I’ve fought the same basic problem for the last 27 years. "No one" understand me. WAAAHHH! No one NEEDS to understand you, except your doctor.
YOU must take control of this disease, or it will take control of you. DO NOT be concerned about what others think. it is petty and childish of them to be "insulted" when you don’t particpate in a "delicious" meal. YOU understand your problem, and YOU are doing the right thing.
It takes "won’t power" — I won’t eat this, and I won’t eat that. It take a real set of solid steele balls to go out with friends and order chips and water! But if you want to stay alive, you have GOT to stop sharing pizza and desserts! [BTW: Rice a serious source of carbs. Get double beans instead. Pizza is a high-fat item, which aggravates your cholesterol problem -- not to mention the load of suagr in the tomato sauce.].
Don’t bother to educate — that just makes them defensive. Say, "No. Thank you." YOU are the one with the diseas, not them. YOU are the one resposible for controlling it, not them.
As for the boyfriend — schedule a diabetic education class, and take him with you. If he is a serious relationship in your life (read that ponential husband) then he MUST understand the disease. Frankly, this is a deal breaker. If he is not going to support your change in lifestyle (including weight loss) you may need to consider another boyfriend.
Try to find a class where they emphasize the bloody details — gangrene, amputations, skin ulcers, blindness, Alzheimers, kidney disease. Find out what a Peritoneal Dialysis Cannula is, and ask him if he’d like to have sex while you are wearing THAT.
For that matter, diabetes effects the nerves, and many diabetic patients can’t enjoy sex. Would HE be quite so happy if YOU can’t enjoy it, or is he just a male chauvinist pig?
As for babies, diabetes during pregnancy can cause miscarriages or birth defects. Your control of your disease protects HIS future son or daughter!
I know that YOU are aware of the problems. but don’t let others "shame" you into losing control of your life. They don’t, AND THEY WON’T, understand. Control of diabetes is TOTALLY up to you, and in some cases you have to be a complete jerk about it — "That’s a wonderful meal, Mary, but i can’t eat any of it. Do you have water?"
Take care of yourself, and don’t worry about what others think.
admin on October 29th 2009 in Diabetes Diet Meal Plan
dingding responded on 29 Oct 2009 at 8:34 am #
You’ve been dating for 9 years? Any plans to marry? He seems like the type that wouldn’t want to. Lack of commitment takes many forms, and the fact that you’re still not married and he refuses to take your needs into account are two huge signs. The man is simply not committed to you. He has little interest in keeping you healthy. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have some favorite snacks in the house, and you have to do your part and resist them. But to load up on them and not try to at least choose healthier restaurants and support you in substituting is just not OK. Take it from me…my first spouse was very apathetic about the whole diabetes thing, but my new husband is supportive and encouraging, yet doesn’t try to manage me either.
YOU are in control of what you eat. Gently telling a friend that you’re watching your carbs is fine, just eat as much as you can without going overboard, it’s OK on occasion. YOU do the shopping, or at least do your own. YOU need to take control of this situation. When you go to a friend’s house, gently remind them that you like to load up on veggies and that would be appreciated. People don’t understand, you’re right, so you need to take ownership of your disease. It took me 15 years to learn that.
References :
Type 1 for 25 years, happy pumper for 5
Gary B responded on 29 Oct 2009 at 9:08 am #
No use whining about a "support system". YOU are your Support System. You and only you can control this disease — everybody else be damned.
I’ve fought the same basic problem for the last 27 years. "No one" understand me. WAAAHHH! No one NEEDS to understand you, except your doctor.
YOU must take control of this disease, or it will take control of you. DO NOT be concerned about what others think. it is petty and childish of them to be "insulted" when you don’t particpate in a "delicious" meal. YOU understand your problem, and YOU are doing the right thing.
It takes "won’t power" — I won’t eat this, and I won’t eat that. It take a real set of solid steele balls to go out with friends and order chips and water! But if you want to stay alive, you have GOT to stop sharing pizza and desserts! [BTW: Rice a serious source of carbs. Get double beans instead. Pizza is a high-fat item, which aggravates your cholesterol problem -- not to mention the load of suagr in the tomato sauce.].
Don’t bother to educate — that just makes them defensive. Say, "No. Thank you." YOU are the one with the diseas, not them. YOU are the one resposible for controlling it, not them.
As for the boyfriend — schedule a diabetic education class, and take him with you. If he is a serious relationship in your life (read that ponential husband) then he MUST understand the disease. Frankly, this is a deal breaker. If he is not going to support your change in lifestyle (including weight loss) you may need to consider another boyfriend.
Try to find a class where they emphasize the bloody details — gangrene, amputations, skin ulcers, blindness, Alzheimers, kidney disease. Find out what a Peritoneal Dialysis Cannula is, and ask him if he’d like to have sex while you are wearing THAT.
For that matter, diabetes effects the nerves, and many diabetic patients can’t enjoy sex. Would HE be quite so happy if YOU can’t enjoy it, or is he just a male chauvinist pig?
As for babies, diabetes during pregnancy can cause miscarriages or birth defects. Your control of your disease protects HIS future son or daughter!
I know that YOU are aware of the problems. but don’t let others "shame" you into losing control of your life. They don’t, AND THEY WON’T, understand. Control of diabetes is TOTALLY up to you, and in some cases you have to be a complete jerk about it — "That’s a wonderful meal, Mary, but i can’t eat any of it. Do you have water?"
Take care of yourself, and don’t worry about what others think.
References :
sue responded on 29 Oct 2009 at 9:35 am #
It isn’t the SUGAR at all! It is entirely the CARBS.
I eat the fried foods, I don’t try to go low fat here. Just low carbs. NO rice or beans! I do eat the enchiladas, chili relenos and all that.
If you can keep your carb counts at about 100 to 125 per day you will be way ahead.
You are so right about needing a healthy mommy before having a baby!! If your gentleman "friend" can’t or won’t understand, you may need ot get another one. Doesn’t matter how long this relationship has been, if he isn’t going to support you then you need to lose him!!!
References :
Ghosthunters Cook Book responded on 29 Oct 2009 at 10:20 am #
You and only you are in control of how you react to this disease. First go talk to a Diabetes Educator/ Nutritionist. They can help you set up an eating plan. Plus you will have ‘it in writing’ to show your boyfriend. Don’t go into a long explanation to your ‘friends’, just say you ate what you could and stick to your guns, real friends will understand. A long explanation and apologies just sounds whiny.
Now the boyfriend problem–do you understand that he is being not only careless but also abusive? To a diabetic food can be your medicine or your poison.
And having a baby right now is not a good idea (in fact if your diabetes is way out of control you might not be able to get pregnant). Out of control diabetes is not only dangerous to you, but terrible to your baby-it can even cause stillbirth. Once you have the diabetes under control, than you can start thinking about a family. But if this boyfriend cannot commit to being supportive of your health now, is he gong to be able to commit to raising a child?.
References :
34 years type 1
Bob T responded on 29 Oct 2009 at 11:02 am #
Do what you need to do & let the world go on around you. County hospitals have programs for people with no insurance or try a free clinic in your area.
References :